It is actually real… I saw proof!

Today was probably the most nervous I have been to date. In a way I found it more nerve-wracking than the pregnancy test. Today I had my eight week early pregnancy scan. This isn’t a routine scan but if you have IVF it is a way of making sure you haven’t had a false positive but also that the fetus is in the correct place. I spent the morning distracting myself with the children at school but from the moment I sat in my car for the hour long journey it was all I could think about!

I have had so many dreams in the last few weeks where it wasn’t real, or they did the scan and there was nothing there. I also had a dream that I had a miscarriage. Apparently this is normal but it really didn’t help the anxiety! It also didn’t help that once I got there I was informed my scan was actually yesterday!!! I was mortified! Fortunately, my clinic is full of wonderful amazing people and they told me they would still do the scan. And if I’m honest, it worked out amazingly well because the person who did my scan is someone I used to work with who also did my embryo transfer… now known as my lucky charm!

The first moments of the scan were nerve-wracking, Kerry had warned me it might take her a while to find what she was looking for but I could feel myself holding my breath! And then both of saw it at the same time. This little fluttering blob. A little flutter that turned out to be the heartbeat in my little blob baby! Please don’t tell me off for being mean, but honestly, right now my baby looks like a blob! A blob I am completely and madly in love with!

Meet Blob… who has now been affectionately renamed, Bean! For those like me, who have no idea what they are looking at, the black area is the gestational sac (fluid), the round blob is the yolk sac (what is feeding the baby whilst the placenta fully develops) and the bean-like blob is known as the fetal pole, is my baby! Right now, as you can see it doesn’t look like a baby but that is because it is still developing. It has a heartbeat, it has started growing arms and legs, it has started developing eyes and ears and the spine is nearly formed.

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I am finally accepting that I am not making it up in my head and I am , in fact, pregnant! And although it can’t be 100% guaranteed, at this time we only saw 1 heartbeat! I cannot stop smiling! I know I can’t totally relax at this point. I still have a few more weeks to go. And most people wouldn’t have shared their news at this point. Fair play to them because there is no way I could keep this to myself! I know there is still a chance it could go wrong but for now, I am enjoying the moment and I officially consider myself a Mum! I had reached a point where I genuinely didn’t believe it would happen. It’s been two years since the decision to try and I finally know I can do this! Now it is down to my body and my little bean to keep going!

I’m sure there will be more updates to come soon but until then, stay safe and ciao for now!

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