I can’t believe a year ago I was giving myself injections waiting to find out when my egg collection would be, if I would even get any eggs! And now, I am sat in a coffee shop with my 13 week old daughter… I have a daughter!!! I still have to pinch myself! Admittedly I was hoping said daughter was going to be asleep but instead she is laughing at me making funny faces. I am sat in a public place making funny faces with people looking and I don’t care! OK, I’m writing this at the same time but I am a mum now and mums multi-task!
I’m going to say it… I love being a mum!!! It is everything I thought it would be and so much more. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying it’s easy! Heck no! But it was worth every injection, every palpitation, every contraction, in fact every pain and every stitch. I would do it again in a heartbeat. In fact, I’m already thinking about it! Don’t panic! I am not intending on phoning the clinic for round two just yet, but having just hit the big 4 0, I’m contemplating the options!
Of course I have to face the big hurdle of going back to work! Again, not yet. The idea of leaving that little smiley face is unbearable but I do miss the classroom. I’m already looking at jobs coming up but I can’t bring myself to apply for them as they all start in January and there is no way I can leave her so soon. I feel so lucky to live in a country that appreciates the time a new parent needs with their child. For all the governments faults, our maternity leave is still pretty good!
So what is my life like as a solo mum? Well, I spend more time in coffee shops than I thought I would. I spend a lot of time with a baby attached to my boobs and I have indigestion from trying to eat a meal before the screaming starts… I swear, the moment I think about eating, no matter what she’s doing she will want my attention! But, I don’t mind. I’m learning the art of eating one handed… oh and only eating food that needs to be cut with a knife when I’m with other people! I’ve been living off sandwiches, toast and salad. I’ll admit more of the bread based than the veg based options so far!!
I feel tired, all the time! No matter how much sleep I get, I wake up tired. I had a joyous night of 10 hours sleep, still felt tired the next day! (By the way, I am not ignoring her, she has gone to sleep!) I contemplate copious amounts of coffee but I limit myself to two caffeinated cups a day, then I try and fool myself with decaf! It doesn’t work.
Showering is another thing I try and do at breakneck speed… almost literally the other day when I slipped! Reflexes seem to be pretty good at the moment and I managed to hold on to the wall. Not sure Lil has mastered the art of the 999 call yet, nor the cats! The interesting thing is Lily’s reaction after I shower. She screams! It’s like she objects to me being clean! I have tried using the same stuff that I use on her but she still screams. Sorry kid, but mummy is not sacrificing her personal hygiene so I smell right… well not anymore anyway. That was OK in the first few weeks but not now I’m back out in public!
One thing I do love though, I only need ro wash my hair once or twice a week. This is alien to me as I have always had to wash my hair every other day or it looks like I’ve taken a shower at the petrol station. Now, I can freshen up with some dry shampoo and all is well. Not so keen on the clumps that are coming out though. Every silver lining has a cloud!
I have spent a lot of time watching TV! Whenever I would sit to breastfeed, I would put the TV on. I still used to the time to connect with Lil, but as soon as she falls asleep, and that is pretty quick, I need something to occupy me. So I got through the whole of The Big Bang Theory, started Downton Abbey and Call The Midwife from the begining, rediscovered NCIS and found a new series on Netflix with Tia from Sister Sister. But I decided I should use the time a bit more wisely and downloaded Duolingo and am trying to brush up on my French and learn some Spanish! I’ll let you know how it goes! I’m on day 10 so far!
Now that Lily is sleeping less and needing more stimulation, I am looking for things to do with her. I just wish things didn’t cost money! I’ve been asked what I want for Christmas and I am thinking money for groups and classes. My direct debits for my fuel are seven times more than they were two years ago. And I have barely had the heating on this year. Food costs seem to increase weekly, at least Lily is free at the moment but it won’t be long before she’s on solids and I need to provide more than just toast! Insurance prices have gone up, my pet insurance has doubled. Although, this isn’t a massive shock, considering one if my fur babies has a problem with clotting. Having them as house cats seems to have helped though, no major bleeds lately… touch wood! (Yes, I did touch the wooden table I am sat at!)
I hadn’t intended on writing about money, but I guess it’s on the forefront of most people’s minds these days.
So, no things aren’t easy. But I wouldn’t change them. I have the cutest little girl in my life. How she came from me is beyond me! She really is adorable. I am obviously biased but I have had many strangers stop me and tell me so it must be true! Well, the bundle of cuteness has now woken up so I must return to my motherly duties and start pulling faces again!
Stay safe and ciao for now.