Time flies…

When you’re not sleeping!

I can’t believe it’s been 6 weeks since my little miracle came into my world. I’ve been meaning to write and tell you all what happened but I’ve been somewhat preoccupied! So, here I am, little lady is in her chair currently settled and I can tell you about the last few weeks!

The last time I wrote it was a waiting game. My waters had well and truly gone and I was hoping for things to happen. I started contracting but they were irregular. This went on overnight and throughout the next day. I was examined and was 3cm but, becuase it was over 24 hours since waters breaking, the plan was to take me down to the delivery suite so I could have the hormone drip to get things going.

I had to wait due to delivery suite being busy but I finally made it down there. I was contracting about once or twice every 10 minutes so not enough. After using the TENS machine on the ward, the contractions were now more intense and it wasn’t cutting the mustard. I called my Mum and she came in and I finally gave in and embraced the gas and air. Oh I do love that stuff!

When you are on delivery suite, your observations are taken regularly. Mine showed I had a temperature and my heart rate was up, every for me. These were signs of a possible infection so I given antibiotics and paracetamol. After a while I was examined and I was still only 3-4cm so, after seeing the obstetrician, it was decided we were definitely going for the oxytocin drip. Having been a midwife, I knew that meant the contractions would be a LOT more intense, so I asked for an epidural!

Before the epidural the doctor checked baby’s heartbeat to make sure things were OK and then the anaesthetist came in and the epidural was sited. After half an hour I could no longer feel the contractions. The only problem now was baby wasn’t looking quite so happy. The obstetrician came back in and decided to examine me to see if anything had progressed. I was still only 4 cm and the baby’s heart rate didn’t increase during the examination, which isn’t what you want. If you think about it, if someone started touching you on the top of the head without warning, your heart rate would increase. I knew what this meant, the trace was classed as pathological and baby needed to be born, I looked at my Mum and said, “c-section”. The obstetrician then said she felt it was best to go for c-section! I was obviously gutted but I knew what was best and said, let’s do it. I was what is classed as a category 2 section, urgent but we had time. Fortunately, there was no one else waiting so we were able to go straight to theatre.

Now the problem was, as the epidural had not long been put in, there was a big chance that it wouldn’t work well enough for the section, which would mean a general anaesthetic. The anaesthetist tried to top up the epidural and when he tested to see what I could feel, all seemed good. That was until the operation started. I was told I would feel tugging bit shouldn’t feel pain… I felt pain! The op was stopped and the anaesthetist tried again to top up the epidural but as soon as they restarted, I could feel it. It was stopped again and this time, it was decided to go for a general anaesthetic. It felt like another kick in the teeth but all I could think was how important it was my baby was delivered safely.

Because we were now going for a general anaesthetic, my Mum could no longer stay, so she was taken back to the labour room. Next thing I knew there was a second anaesthetist! For some reason I was feeling incredibly sleepy, I hadn’t had the anaesthetic yet. The last thing I remember is the second anaesthetist telling me to keep my eyes open. The next thing I remember is someone asking if I wanted my glasses and then seeing my Mum and midwife coming into recovery with a cot. Apparently,the first thing I said was,”What have I got?” 🤣 So many people had told me they thought I was having a boy I was genuinely shocked when my Mum told me I had a girl!! She was put into my arms and, after days of questioning my choice of names, I knew I had my Lilian. I have heard about that rush of love when you see your baby for the first time, despite the anaesthetic, I felt it! Here was a tiny human being who was completely dependent on me and I would do anything for her. The midwife asked if I wanted to try feeding. I was worried that the anaesthetic would affect her feeding. It turned out I didn’t need to, she fed for a full 40 minutes. It looked like she was already taking after her mum!

I stayed in hospital for a few days which was ideal becuase it gave us a chance to get to know each other. Having a new baby is a massive learning curve, for both! After the initial epic feed, it was than hit or miss as to how she fed. Plus she wanted to be on me all the time. When you are in hospital, you need to put baby in the cot if you feel like you are going to fall asleep… easier said than done when she won’t sleep in the cot and you are so tired you can’t keep your eyes open!

I genuinely can’t thank everyone at the hospital enough, I was so well looked after. And then I went and stayed with my Dad and stepmum where I was also looked after! I only had to think about Lily and what she needed! Food and drink appeared from nowhere! It was amazing.

Things haven’t been plain sailing though. At the end of the first week I felt shivery and had a temperature. It turned out I had an infection in my section wound. (Warning for anyone with a weak stomach) The infection was really quite nasty, it wasn’t just oozing, it was dripping with ick. Now, when I was a midwife I could deal with anything, turns out not so much when it’s me! I couldn’t even look at it! After a visit from the midwife, I visited my third hospital and was given more antibiotics and advised to put a sanitary towel on the wound both for the ick but also to stop the two sides adhering together. It’s taken a few week but my wound is now finally better!

One of the best things over the last few weeks has been introducing Lily to her family. We had an amazing lunch with one side of the family and then we had a beautiful wedding where, having said I wouldn’t be dancing, we spent most of our night on the dance floor! Admittedly, she slept through most of it! Proof that loud noise doesn’t wake her up when she’s sleeping!

The last six weeks have shot past but at the same time I can’t imagine life without my little bundle of gorgeousness! I have forgotten what it was like to be able to eat food when it was hot; being able to go straight back to sleep when you wake up in the night; having a shower without shouting, “it’s OK, Mummy’s nearly finished”; playing white noise at night in the hope it might help with getting a little extra sleep; and doing washing every day! I wouldn’t change it for anything. I feel like things are finally as they are meant to be. I have the most beautiful, perfect little girl. I am so in love. I am so exhausted but when we are in bed at 3am and I have my baby feeding in my arms with my two fur babies lying next to us, life feels complete.

Well, it has taken me pretty much all day to write this! I’m sure there are probably things I have forgotten to mention. Baby brain is real! For now I am going to try and grab something to eat before she wakes up again!!

As always everyone, stay safe and ciao for now. Xxx

Today is actually the day!

Advance warning, we are now at the business end and therefore there will be details that may be too much for some!!!

I am currently sat on my bed in the hospital having come in for induction! I was very excited to get the phone call this morning to invite me in. I arrived about lunchtime and we came up to the ward where I had a covid test before I could go anywhere. I had already done a lateral flow this morning so was pretty sure it was negative and it was.

Then I was taken to my bed. I love how our hospitals are not made for the heat! 🥵🥵

Knowing that this could take some time I suggested Mum went home instead of hanging around the hot hospital so they left. I then was put on the monitor and with baby looking good I was examined. Still the same and yesterday but ready for induction via the balloon. This is where a tube with two balloons is inserted with one balloon sitting inside the cervix and one just outside. The idea being that it will help the cervix to dilate. Baby seemed to be protesting a bit by trying to headbut the midwife out of the way!

It takes two midwives as it involves lots of passing of bits, so when we were ready the balloon went in. Both balloons were inflated with water and I thought some of that water had escaped as it suddenly felt a bit wet! Just as the midwives were checking it was ok they noticed a nice pool of water, only it was just water, it was my water!!!! During the process my membranes had ruptured and my waters were leaking! Out came the balloon!

I think it is safe to say there was a lot of fluid that came out and had I been stood up it would have been like Niagra Falls!! And boy do those waters keep coming and coming!

So now we are back to sitting and waiting. Baby will be monitored every 6 hours and if no labour by 24 hours then I will be given a hormone drip to get things going!

I am now about to have dinner and hope for the best!

Stay safe and ciao for now!

Today’s the day… or not!

So, today was due to be induction date but due to a busy unit it’s been delayed until tomorrow.. hopefully! I always knew it was a possibility and I’m just making the most of more rest and my fan!

I went for a stretch and sweep on Tuesday. This is where the midwife attempts to put his/her finger inside the cervix and sweep around in order to get the hormones going. And before you ask, very uncomfortable! Unfortunately, my cervix was not playing ball and she was unable to do the sweep. But it did give me a good indication that induction is not going to be a quick process!

Fingers crossed for tomorrow! Stay safe and ciao for now.

It’s happening!!!

I had my 36 week scan and appointment this morning and I am more than happy to report that baby has decided to listen to mummy and is now in the head down position! Wahoo! This means I can now try induction instead of jumping straight into a caesarean section.

I now have my induction booked for 11th August… 2 weeks!!! I can’t decide if I am excited or freaking out! Of course I know that induction can take time and I could be in for days which means I may have to pack a few more bits in my hospital bag!!! I also need to work out feeding my cats!! I don’t want them to feel neglected!

Lots to think about and plan! And that’s assuming I don’t go into labour earlier!! I guess it’s all a waiting game now! 🙈

Stay safe and ciao for now!

36 weeks tomorrow… Well this is getting real!

I’m not sure how 36 weeks has come around so quickly but here we are! And of course now is the time the nesting is kicking in! I’m still getting exhausted easily and still feeling faint every now and again so I have to pace myself… ha!!!! Or get friends and family to take it un turns to come and help! 🤣

At least the heatwave is over. I know, I know, women in other countries have to deal with the heat but it’s not normal for us. We are not designed or equipped to deal with it! I spent 3 days sat in front of a fan drinking litres of water… and we know what drinking water means!!!!

Today I have re-packed my hospital bag for about the 50th time. I’ve also changed bags and I still don’t feel ready or that I have everything I need! I just keep saying to myself, as long as I have clothes for me and baby and toiletries I’ll be fine… right?!?! 🤦‍♀️

Now I’m reaching the end zone, I’m starting to look forward to some post-pregnancy changes. Obviously cuddles with the new love of my life and being able to eat carbs, but also things I never thought would be a thing. One thing I was never told as a midwife, didn’t know it was a thing until recently… excess saliva! Oh my goodness! Seriously, what is that about?! I have never been a night time dribbler, but I now wake up looking like Homer Simpson in a Krispy Kreme! I have taken to keeping a towel next to my bed. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me… I was actually on the verge of going to the GP. But then I saw an article that said, just as with blood volume, your saliva increases in pregnancy. So I thought I would see. I wrote a post on a forum I am on and it turns out it really is a thing! And there were a LOT of women who were relieved I had started the topic! Talk about opening a can of worms! I feel this is something we should be told! So there you go ladies, you might be one of the lucky ones but if you decide to have a baby you might have to deal with epic drool before the teething kicks in!

And speaking if dribbling (I have warned before about TMI so don’t blame me)… turns out, no matter how vigilant you have been with your pelvic floor, when there is a baby pressing on your bladder, nothing is stopping that pee escaping! I can sneeze, I can cough, I can jump up and down and nothing. Baby has a wriggle and there is zilch I can do! Tena lady are my new bffs! I know this is something I need to get used to but I have done pelvic floor exercises regularly, ever since I trained as a midwife, so it just feels so unfair!

So, 36 weeks scan and clinic appointment tomorrow. I will find out if baby has decided to turn the right way or not and what the plan is for induction or c-section. I’m trying lots of positive thinking for induction or even going into labour by myself! But what will be will be.

Stay safe everyone and ciao for now!

No Nat, you cannot come to the hospital!

Just as I thought!

Definitely wasn’t my waters yesterday! So all still going along nicely. I was absolutely exhausted when I got home and had the best night’s sleep I’ve had in ages. Don’t get me wrong, I still woke up but instead of lying there trying to go back to sleep I just crashed out each time! I’m making the most of that one!

I’m hoping that sleeps will have stored enough energy that I can sort some of the baby’s things out today. I’ve washed pretty much all of the clothes for the first 3 months, packed the ones for the hospital, so I just need to put the rest away in the wardrobe! Nesting time!

Any who, stay safe and ciao for now! 😁

Time flies!

Well, I’ve been meaning to write and before I know it weeks have gone by! Since I last wrote I have discovered I potentially have somethings known as POTS (Postural Tachycardia Syndrome) which is related to Long Covid. Covid, the gift that keeps on giving! This is the reason for the feeling faint and the palpitations. Standing up for more than a few minutes is still proving to be an issue and I have to be pretty careful when getting up in the night or first thing in the morning.

I also have gestational diabetes so I get the joy of pricking my finger four times a day to check my blood sugar levels. Most of which have been fine and controlled with diet. It’s just the pesky fasting blood sugars after a night’s sleep that won’t behave, so I have been started on insulin at night.

I’m still off work at the moment which I am finding frustrating but having now been signed off until the end of term I need to get my head around the fact I won’t be going back until after the baby is born. I am really missing work but I know I need to put Snoops first and me passing out in the middle of a classroom is probably not going to be ideal!

So now for something a bit happier! In was thrown an absolutely amazing baby shower by some wonderful friends last weekend. Snoops and I were thoroughly spoiled and it was so nice to have some gorgeous people there to share it with. I was very much entertained by the attempts at plasticine babies as well as hearing some of the responses to the questions about me! I was very chuffed to find out that my mum won that one!

I had some gorgeous presents and I definitely don’t need to think about clothes for the first three months! Thanks everyone!!! To cap off an already lovely day I then had dinner with my cousins and their amazing partners. I pretty much slept the whole of the next day but it was totally worth it!

I am currently sat in the day assessment unit to find out whether I have leaking waters or not! I’m 32 weeks tomorrow so I’m really hoping not! Warning for the upcoming TMI. I’ve definitely had some sort of leaking today, which I haven’t had before. It could just be the joys of normal pregnancy discharge (don’t say I didn’t warn you!) but better safe than sorry right! No contractions or tightenings so I’m not even thinking about preterm labour, in fact I’m pretty sure it’s nothing. After all other than the diabetes the pregnancy has been pretty straight forward… it’s me that’s the nightmare!

I’ll let you know how it goes!

Stay safe and ciao for now! 😁

26 weeks and not all is going to plan! (Warning: may get TMI!)

Well! The last week has not been particularly plain sailing! It all started last weekend with the start of a cold and a nice little tummy bug to go along with it. Not ideal but all manageable. Then Monday, the cough started. Lateral flow said no, which was a bonus. Another LF on Tuesday also said no but cough wasn’t a dry cough, I was coughing up all kinds of ick! Spoke to GP who wanted to check me over but decided just a nasty cold. She said to keep and eye on it anyway. So, I spent the next few days in bed feeling like absolute rubbish. The worst thing being that every now and again I would come over all faint, even when I was lying down. Plus, the palpitations I have had since covid seemed to be more regular and lasting longer.

Saturday, I had a long episode of feeling like I was going to faint and I wondered if it was low blood pressure which I had a few weeks ago. I thought I would see if I could see an out of hours GP just to get it checked. Apparently the paramedic on 111 disagreed and 2 hours later I was sat in my living room with the paramedics having an ECG. The ECG showed “some changes” and they decided the best bet was get me into the hospital for some bloods. I was adamant I would be out that night, so other than grabbing a jacket, phone charger and my medications, I didn’t bother with anything else. In A&E, I had another ECG which again showed something so I was sent for a chest x-ray. All was going well, that was until I had just had my chest x-ray and could feel that I was about to drop to the floor! The radiographer got me on the bed and to be honest it’s all a bit of a blur after that but I know they had to get a trolley to get me back to where I had been before. Another ECG, this time all was fine but they decided they weren’t happy sending me home so admission to the antenatal ward it was… which is where I still am!

I am happy to say that following a CT scan, they have ruled out an Pulmonary Embolism (blood clot in the lung) and I am currently sitting here with a 24 hour ECG on. They are still reluctant to send me home due to still having episodes of feeling like I am about to pass out, even when I’m lying down. And, I no longer feel like I smell as my lovely Mum has brought me in clean clothes and wet wipes! I am not allowed to shower or bath with the monitor on so the wet wipes will have to do until tomorrow morning!

I am also eternally grateful to my amazing family and friends who have helped look after my fur babies! Probably not as grateful and Jarvis and Natasha though! I have also noticed (through the wonder of a doorbell camera) that my neighbours are collecting parcels and putting my bins out for me! Bless all of you for being so amazing!

I am happy to report, that despite Mummy being a complete disaster, Snoopy appears to still be loving life and all monitoring is looking good. Being able to hear his/her heart beat every 4 hours is the silver lining to this cloud. I am also re-finding those midwifery skills of playing chase the baby when on the CTG monitor, as this little one loves a good game of hide and seek… a sign of things to come?!

Anyway, feeling a bit pooped so going to either have a snooze or move onto The Empire Strikes Back! Disney+ has been a lifeline!!

Stay safe everyone and ciao for now! xxx

25 weeks! How?!

I am definitely starting to sound old! Where did the last 25 weeks go??? I seems like no time at all since I took that pregnancy test. But here I am, 25 week midwife appointment and I finally got to hear Snoopster’s heartbeat. I was just a tad emotional! Of course the little monster didn’t make it easy, having a good old wriggle as if to runaway from the sonicaid!

I was also adamant I have a UTI, very similar symptoms to when I had one before but dipstick says all is normal. My lovely midwife has sent the sample off anyway just to make sure. It’s probably just those joyous ligaments stretching to make way for Snoops to grow.

I’ve also spoken to the GP today as my blood tests have shown I’m anemic. So I can now add iron tablets to my ever growing daily medication round! I have an ECG booked for next week as I’ve been getting palpitations. They are fairly normal in pregnancy but better to be safe than sorry!

I feel very looked after at the moment. My upcoming half term consists of another scan with antenatal clinic and another midwife appointment with the added joy of a glucose tolerance test. I just wish they still used lucozade and not the horrible mixture! 🤢

I realise I have made it sound like there is a lot going on but I am happy to say I have felt pretty good these last few weeks. Ok, I get a bit tired but nothing like I was before and I’m loving feeling the movements going on in my uterus… maybe not so much at 4am but I’ll still embrace it!

Stay safe and ciao for now! 🥰