Every morning I say to myself, “When Lily has a nap today, I will sit and write my blog.” Then I finally get her to have a sleep and I realise that is my only opportunity to get stuff done… or I fall asleep myself! Or, if I’m completely honest, I have so much going around in my head, I forget!
Baby brain is real. I promise you. It’s been confirmed by scientists, and they say it can go on for up to 2 years after birth. My problem is, I was pretty forgetful before pregnancy so now I am a nightmare! I have to put arrangements and appointments in my phone the moment I make them, or the chances are, I won’t turn up! And it’s not just putting them.in my phone, I need to set alarms 1 week, 1 day and 1 hour before each event!
Anyway, that’s my excuse for forgetting to write in this blog… baby brain!
The thing is, I started this becuase I wanted people to know what it is like to be a solo mum. Or at least my experience. It’s never going to be the same for everyone but I wanted when I started all this, I felt like I was going in blind. And here is the reality, now I am a mum, she comes first. Everything gets put on the backburner, even when she’s asleep. There are maps where I will just sit and watch her sleep. Mainly, I think, because I still can’t believe she is actually mine. I’ve spent so much of my life handing children back to their parents but I don’t have to do that now.
I am currently sat in a retail outlet having a drink whilst she is asleep and I am waiting for my cat to have dental work (I could write a whole other blog on my little feline friend!), I am looking around at the different families around me, wondering if they feel as truly lucky as I am, to have their children. So much so, I am already desperate to add to my family!
Don’t panic! I’m not going there just yet. Partly, because we are going through the joy of teething right now and I’m not sure I could handle another but also becuase I really want to get my career back on track and feel more stable for number 2. I don’t want to wait too long but the reality is it would most likely break me financially. Before I started fertility treatment, I sat and made a budget, I allowed for things to be more expensive but I never imagined that things like my energy bills would increase by 300%! I mean, who would! But here we are, cost of living crisis and it’s definitely going to make a difference to my plans.
Right now I am applying for jobs, I need stability for us and if I can somehow find a way to save it will make all the difference. The problem is, I don’t want Lily to miss out. I want to take her places and buy her things, I want her to have swimming lessons. But it would appear the financial gods feel that everyone should be living on a shoe string. So I compromise. Lily will have swimming lessons, bit we won’t go to the singing and sensory groups. Second hand apps have been a revelation! And thank goodness for pet insurance!
Of course, it’s not just finances that are a cause if concern! As I said on today’s title, Lily is 8 months today, that means we have had 2 months of weaning! I was really looking forward to introducing her to the works of food and all the different flavours and textures.
Well, I started writing this 3 days ago then Lily woke up and it has taken me until now to pick it up again!
Back to the joy of weaning. I can honestly say it has been the most stressful part of parenthood so far! I can handle to gagging and retching what has been hard is that she has had allergic reactions but we don’t know what to! Things she had no problems with before seem to cause a reaction then next time can be fine! Fortunately it hasn’t been a full on anaphylaxis but we are talking hives all over her body. Trying to get to see a doctor has been a nightmare. I have had many phone conversations but no one has actually physically seen her during one of these reactions. I have driven down to A& E but by the time I found a parking space (no where near the hospital) the antihistamine had finally kicked in. I was asked to keep a food diary, which I have, and since then, no reaction!! Having said that, I haven’t given her the foods I suspected have given her a reaction.
She has eczema which can flare up with certain foods but that would cause the hives. Poor thing is also teething which she is really not loving and my fingers seem to be the teething toy of choice! We have plenty of other options but nope my fingers are the go to! I’m not going to lie though, it was an exciting moment when O felt that first tooth poking through and as we are doing baby led weaning I feel like it will open up a list of new foods for her to, literally, sink her teeth into!
Ok, we are off to get ready for our first swimming lesson, another exciting first! Hopefully I will be back with another blog a lot sooner!!!
Ciao for now and stay safe!