Wow! Talk about a week of mixed emotions! It’s been a pretty tough week at work, probably the combination of last week before half term and some pretty emotional work with the children! It’s a bizarre thing, working in a school. I know how lucky I am to have the holidays but I will be honest and say out of the jobs I have had, this is the most exhausted I have been.. and I have worked 14 hour shifts, nights shifts, and 9 hours a day 7 days a week for months on end!

Tuesday was my first weigh-in after joining Slimming World and I was over the moon to hear I had lost 4.5 lbs! This never happened the last time I joined so I must be doing something right!

Wednesday was my second appointment at the clinic. This time I was seeing the counsellor. I was pretty chilled about this appointment, until I got there. The first this I was told was that once the session was finished she would write a report and it would go to the multi-disciplinary team who when decide if I could move forward. I must have missed this somewhere along the line because I thought at this point it was a sure thing! I could feel anxiety rising in me but just told myself to see how it went.

By the end I felt so much better! We talked about how I would cope with being a single mum, finances, child care and how it would affect my job. But the two main important things seemed to be my support network and what and when I tell the child. Support network, I have an awesome family! Not just my immediate family but my extended family. It’s one of the reasons I feel a bit bad about not telling them about this yet. But I am still getting my head around it so feel I should sort that out before I tell everyone. I also have an amazing group of friends. A few years ago I had some mental health issues and it was the amazing people around me who got me through. I know that they will be amazing again!

Telling my future child about all this? I had thought about it, I had read other people’s views on this but has no idea when I should do it! This is where the counsellor was invaluable! She showed me a fab book, and advised me that 3 years old is the best time to tell a child about their family. Before they have the memory of finding out, so that the shock doesn’t stay with them, it is just something they have always known. This makes so much sense to me now and I am so glad we talked about it!

So, now I wait! My counsellor will send me her report which I get to read and amend if necessary, I send it back, then I wait for the team to make a decision on my future! I am an impatient person, I do not wait well! Task for the half term holiday…. find distractions!