Tag: Single Female

Distractions – a little off topic!

On By wannabemummy82In Fertility for single womenLeave a comment

Well… I don’t know about the rest of you but I am pretty much done with Covid 19 now and wish it would just do one! It’s been a week of lock down here in the UK and I am going stir crazy… and I went into work on Thursday as I work in a school!

Before anyone starts having a pop and telling me others have been in lock down far longer… I know!!! But that doesn’t mean I can’t have my rant!

I think it’s amazing how people are finding ways to get through this. We have amazing people like Joe Wicks doing his online daily work out (which was harder than I was expecting!), good old Carol Vorderman doing her online maths classes and David Walliams doing his daily online story! Zoom has gone from Zero to Hero as people are trying to find new ways of socialising with their friends, virtual coffee mornings and cocktails parties, online choir practice as well as online Sunday lunches! As a human race we are remarkably resilient. We have amazing people who are volunteering to go out and about helping those who can’t get out for their essentials and retired healthcare professionals coming out of retirement to do their bit!

But I just wonder how long it can last? Will it change us as a human race? Will youngsters think that they no longer need to go out or will it make people realise just how much they appreciate the good outdoors and human contact? Or will things just go back to the way it was?

Only time will tell and we have a long way to push through before then! Wuhan is due to come out of lockdown on 8th April… the world’s eyes will be looking that way to see what will happen!

So how am I coping with the lockdown? A LOT of online learning, helping family members by getting essentials, taking part in the Joe Wicks workout and planning my move which is still currently set to go ahead next week. It would appear I will have 10 days with no internet so that will be interesting… or expensive if I cave and use my 3G! My drama group is having a weekly online chat, and my colleagues are keeping each other entertained with daily anecdotes of their lockdown lives!

But I am craving human contact right now! I still have amazing cuddles with my kittens but I haven’t had a human hug for over a week and it is killing me! I am a huggy person. I love a cuddle. I am currently exremely envious, no, jealous of those who have people in their household they can still hug. I refuse to believe I am alone in this! I can see it now, when all this is over I will be going around hugging everybody to make up for it!!!

Please comment with any lockdown ideas you have. Please share my blog! PLEASE!!! I need contact! I need distraction! Not just from Covid 19 but from the break in my journey. Because out of all of this, that is what I am finding the hardest… I know I am not alone but it would be nice to hear/read it!!!!

Take care for now, stay safe, stay inside, try Joe Wicks’ workout and we WILL get through this!

fgh <— my kitten’s contribution!!!

Current Affairs (warning I will rant)

On By wannabemummy82In Fertility for single womenLeave a comment

I am one of those people that loves immersing myself in current affairs. I sit and read the BBC news app and will choose to sit with a news channel on or listen to 5Live. But right now I am torn. I care, I really do. Covid 19 has torn our world apart in a way that no one was really prepared for. We have spent the last few years talking about how we are killing our planet and ourselves with Climate Change but no one talked about a virus that would take down our vulnerable and isolate us from each other. But I am finding it harder and harder to listen to the radio or watch the news. Plus, there MUST be other things going on in the world. Wars don’t stop for Covid 19.

I know there are human beings who like isolation but most of us crave human contact. We are driven to be sociable. Now, thanks to something so small it can’t be seen by the human eye, we have to go against everything we believe in. If you live on your own, then you are on your own.

Of course, humans are humans, and this week I’m beginning to agree more and more with Doctor Who that a lot of them are silly. Okay, I am putting this mildly. Stupid and selfish. I am angry. I am broken hearted. There is so much positivity in the community groups and the care our NHS workers are giving, our teachers still looking after children, retired NHS professionals stepping up. I feel there is hope but I see people ignoring the government advice and putting people at unnecessary risk. Not to mention those who are using this as a chance to destroy property and livelihoods even more than they have already been destroyed. So now not only are we battling a virus but we are battling human beings who seem incapable of using common sense.

People are losing loved ones and I hate it. I can’t stand the fact that something can destroy people’s lives in so many ways. I am seeing people I love scared what it could mean for them. I have all but shut myself in my room to help protect my Mum. I need more than ever to move out next week so I can keep her safe. If I go out, I come in and go straight to the shower, I wash clothes I have worn outside straight away. It’s like a science fiction movie.

With all this going on, I feel guilt. Because I know that treatment cannot go ahead right now and I am devastated. I said before I had decided to postpone but until this happened I think deep down I thought it would still be fairly imminent. But now I have to be sensible. The NHS is going to be under immense strain. I am waiting on an appointment with a consultant regarding my abdominal pain but I do not have much hope that it will be anytime soon. But then I worry about the pain getting bad enough to go back into A&E again, I will be taking up valuable resources. I try so hard to stay at home, I do. And if I do end up in A&E, what could I be bringing back to my Mum? And yet I am devastated. For me, for what I can’t have right now.

So, this is my current affair. Not just mine, there are so many women out there who are putting treatment on hold because of this tiny life destroyer. I know we are not important in the grand scheme of things right now but it’s still hard.

I want people to follow the advice but I also want to move house next week! I want people to stop bulk buying things they don’t need to bulk buy, or I could potentially have no loo paper in my house! I want human beings to switch their brains on. I want a child. I really want a child.

I know this will end, I know my treatment will happen. I have had more mood swings in the last couple of days that I usually have during a whole week of PMT! I am trying to distract myself with online learning and shopping lists for my house, and many many kitten cuddles.

Stay safe everyone. Look after yourselves. If you are self isolating ask for help. We will beat this! And I will have my baby!!!

Nerves

On By wannabemummy82In UncategorizedLeave a comment

This week I had my first lot of blood tests. Nothing majorly stressful… or so I thought! I woke up on Thursday feeling, well, not quite right. Then I remembered I was having my blood test. I have no problems with having bloods done, after all I used to take blood from people all the time! But I had this weird feeling of, “what if I fail these tests?” I know you can’t fail a blood test but these are checking my fertility… what if I have a fertility problem that I never knew about, what if I’ve left it too late and my age is going to make this a problem.

Nerves have set in! Not nerves about WHAT I am doing but nerves about whether my body CAN do it! I’m taking all the advice, I’m taking conception vitamins, I’m taking myo inositol, I’m starting Slimming World this week, I’ve even massively cut down on my caffeine intake (probably the hardest one!)… but will it all be enough?

I went for my blood test, it took 20 minutes… I’m not easy to bleed! Great, all sorted. Until a few hours later, sat in traffic on the way home from work, when I suddenly thought, “did she take the right bloods?” I kept telling myself I was paranoid! But I had to phone the surgery to check… and it turns out I was justified! She had taken the LH and FSH not the progesterone! Now I’m panicking! But it’s all sorted and they won’t need me to come in again… apparently!

Nothing like a bit of added stress!!!