Tag: current affairs

I’m Back!

On By wannabemummy82In Fertility for single womenLeave a comment

Wow, 9 months has flown by. Life has not exactly gone to plan. I left my job at Easter as it was negatively impacting my physical and mental health and more importantly was having a huge negative impact on my relationship with my little girl. I loved so many aspects of my job but in that line of work, if you don’t have support, it’s just unbearable. I miss the children but I lost so much confidence in myself and my teaching. I have now struggled to get a job since and that is hitting my confidence each time. The only thing that has kept me going is my daughter and the thought of having another little one. Oh and the two trips to Disneyland Paris helped! 😜

After my big fat negative in October, I was told time was of the essence to trying again. The plan was repeat bloods then get going. Only, it turned out my thyroid function tests showed I am now officially Hypothyroid. Sonic was now back to taking thyroxine and getting the TSH levels down. My TSH was 8 and had doubled from my previous tests a matter of months before. I needed the level to be below 4. Ideally, below 2.5! So, for the last 6 months I have been gradually increasing my thyroxine doses to get to the correct dose to bring it down. As of June, my levels are now down to 2.9.

My next hurdle was the fact that I had put on weight… and quite a bit too. I was eating my emotions again. So, I have been back at Slimming World so I can lose it again. So far I have lost half a stone and at my clinic appointment  last week I was told I was 100g over the weight limit… I knew I should have been to the loo before i was weighed!!!!

I have had an AMH blood test which is a test thst gives an indication of egg reserves. My AMH was 7. Now, I’ll be 100% honest, that means nothing to me but my consultant said it was good! I had a quick Google (something I do not usually advocate) and I found a chart that said average for my age is 6.4 so I guess 7 is good!

My next step now is to have my SW weigh in on Tuesday, then send the weight into the clinic. I was so sure that my tests were going to be terrible and that my appointment was going to be negative, I actually didn’t really take much else in and didn’t ask the question of when I could actually start! But I am hoping asap!

I’ve talking with her highness about whether she wants a brother or sister and she has been quite adamant she wants a brother. However, I found out that she had been telling people the other day I am having 2 babies!!!! I know I always said I wanted 3 but that would be a shock!

Anyway, speaking of her highness, I need to go and convince her it is bed time. Wish me luck!

Stay safe and ciao for now!

Current Affairs (warning I will rant)

On By wannabemummy82In Fertility for single womenLeave a comment

I am one of those people that loves immersing myself in current affairs. I sit and read the BBC news app and will choose to sit with a news channel on or listen to 5Live. But right now I am torn. I care, I really do. Covid 19 has torn our world apart in a way that no one was really prepared for. We have spent the last few years talking about how we are killing our planet and ourselves with Climate Change but no one talked about a virus that would take down our vulnerable and isolate us from each other. But I am finding it harder and harder to listen to the radio or watch the news. Plus, there MUST be other things going on in the world. Wars don’t stop for Covid 19.

I know there are human beings who like isolation but most of us crave human contact. We are driven to be sociable. Now, thanks to something so small it can’t be seen by the human eye, we have to go against everything we believe in. If you live on your own, then you are on your own.

Of course, humans are humans, and this week I’m beginning to agree more and more with Doctor Who that a lot of them are silly. Okay, I am putting this mildly. Stupid and selfish. I am angry. I am broken hearted. There is so much positivity in the community groups and the care our NHS workers are giving, our teachers still looking after children, retired NHS professionals stepping up. I feel there is hope but I see people ignoring the government advice and putting people at unnecessary risk. Not to mention those who are using this as a chance to destroy property and livelihoods even more than they have already been destroyed. So now not only are we battling a virus but we are battling human beings who seem incapable of using common sense.

People are losing loved ones and I hate it. I can’t stand the fact that something can destroy people’s lives in so many ways. I am seeing people I love scared what it could mean for them. I have all but shut myself in my room to help protect my Mum. I need more than ever to move out next week so I can keep her safe. If I go out, I come in and go straight to the shower, I wash clothes I have worn outside straight away. It’s like a science fiction movie.

With all this going on, I feel guilt. Because I know that treatment cannot go ahead right now and I am devastated. I said before I had decided to postpone but until this happened I think deep down I thought it would still be fairly imminent. But now I have to be sensible. The NHS is going to be under immense strain. I am waiting on an appointment with a consultant regarding my abdominal pain but I do not have much hope that it will be anytime soon. But then I worry about the pain getting bad enough to go back into A&E again, I will be taking up valuable resources. I try so hard to stay at home, I do. And if I do end up in A&E, what could I be bringing back to my Mum? And yet I am devastated. For me, for what I can’t have right now.

So, this is my current affair. Not just mine, there are so many women out there who are putting treatment on hold because of this tiny life destroyer. I know we are not important in the grand scheme of things right now but it’s still hard.

I want people to follow the advice but I also want to move house next week! I want people to stop bulk buying things they don’t need to bulk buy, or I could potentially have no loo paper in my house! I want human beings to switch their brains on. I want a child. I really want a child.

I know this will end, I know my treatment will happen. I have had more mood swings in the last couple of days that I usually have during a whole week of PMT! I am trying to distract myself with online learning and shopping lists for my house, and many many kitten cuddles.

Stay safe everyone. Look after yourselves. If you are self isolating ask for help. We will beat this! And I will have my baby!!!